Why squirrels?

Have you met a squirrel? They get everywhere. Always digging things up. Running around in impossible ways. Wearing cute little hats. Honestly, if it wasn’t squirrels, you should probably be asking yourself why not?

But more importantly, squirrels are established by Science to exist primarily in liminal spaces. That’s why their claws are so long. Why their fur gleams the way it does. Why they, very clearly, don’t give a fuck about gravity or boundaries or much of anything else. Squirrels have been running down our telephone lines for as long as we’ve been awkwardly stringing them up. Their little brains have been exposed to your electronic thought waves since they were babies. Honestly, it’s kind of your fault that they’re this way. But…don’t feel bad. They seem to enjoy it

And in the unfortunate happenstance that you are a character thought up by somebody else with no idea how to break free of the rules and limitations the Author has set for you…they might be your only hope.